Watch: Live at The Thirsty Soul 6-13-2019

Why can’t Robots go potty?

My buddy and loyal open mic companion Geoff suspects that I am the first songwriter to incorporate the “uncanny valley” in my lyrics. I don’t know whether that’s true, but I did quite enjoy publicly debuting the song Robots at the Thirsty Soul last Thursday. Also featuring Cloth Mother (first song about experiment on monkeys?) and Humiliation Compost Heap (the boogie woogie).

Song: Quarter

Saying goodbye to something can be difficult, even if the thing you’re leaving is damaging you. This song was inspired by 7 months’ alcohol free. The instrumentation is particularly sparse, which left room for some detailed production work. It also features a melodica solo. This reedy instrument can impart melancholy better than no other in my own repertoire of musicianship.

Listen on SoundCloud

The Olde 0.0 Chapter 1

After 6 months of no drinking, my most notable craving is a pint of ale with a cigarette. During a visit to a Gettysburg beer store with my old pal, I remembered what used to be a dreaded and, dare i say, mockable fact: There’s such a thing as nonalcoholic beer.

There was actually a surprising selection of decent brands, but (in an oft-repeated fit of bad judgment), I chose Busch. I finished the six pack of cans while my pal downed Budweisers. It wasn’t horrible.

I am currently enjoying a bottle of Bitburger. It has a nice little sting of hops. Much better. And this brings me to my intention: To find the perfect nonalcoholic beer.

I’ll be reviewing all the nonalcoholic beers I can find for the rest of the year. I’ll use roughly the same method each time: Cigarettes and pizza (or other delicious food you must eat with beer). I’ll be sure to mention other beer-ish tests when relevant.

Busch NA: **1/2 / 5

Bitburger: ****1/2 / 5

Song: Thought Cop 2084

Being the enforcer of speech codes can be lonely in my not-yet-fully-imagined futuristic Orwellian musical. In this song, I assume the role of a police officer charged with finding and eradicating non-state-sponsored materials littering the landscape of communication. Enthusiasm in the first half turns to gripes about the daily grind of destroying samizdat. Thanks to my daughter for lending her voice talent by uttering on of her favorite phrases, “Shut up!”

Listen on SoundCloud